scavo_descr.txt

UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='1.	Hey newcomer, you have a fine shopping cart!  I don’t know where you stole it from, but... okay, how about challenging this shopping cart archery?  Bring Link (played by your Scav Marksman), Navi, and Shoppona to the Quads with the skill to hit the bulls-eye while riding like the wind. It’s a dangerous sport, but it’s fun!' WHERE item_id=-1;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='A reverse dog sled race. Dog must remain on sled solely though its own free will. Sleds that lose their dogs will be disqualified.' WHERE item_id=-2;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Fixed gear bike race. (BYO fixie and helmet.)' WHERE item_id=-3;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='WWII homecoming kiss marathon. Last couple standing with lips locked and both bodies at 45° wins!' WHERE item_id=-4;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='It’s Scav Olympics, and everyone we’ve invited is here!  Also Zoidberg!  Zoidberg scuttling competition. Zoidbergs will scuttle sideways, with their knees in constant contact with their elbows, from Hull Gate to Harper. Also, you’re not Zoidberg unless you have a rubber glove somehow attached to your face. Wooopwoopwoopwoop!' WHERE item_id=-5;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='“There is something about the outside of a horse that is good for the inside of a man.” - Sir Winston Churchill. Though ye be both horse and man, let us mark your skill in the highest echelon of the equestrian arts: dressage. Please bring one two-man horse ready to demonstrate equine excellence with a 2-minute choreographed entry for the Scav Olympics Grand Prix Freestyle to Music. No rider is necessary, but please ensure that your horse comes dressed in the proper turnout: draped in a brown sheet with a mangy yarn mane and big horse-sized googly eyes.' WHERE item_id=-6;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Send one (1) literary bowler, of sufficient talent to supplant J.M. and join the Allahakbarries.' WHERE item_id=-7;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='At Scav Olympics, keep the ball rolling!  How round is your team’s victory ball (Item 303)?  Show us that the ball will in fact keep rolling unaided. You can start the ball however you want, but it must stay in contact with the ground' WHERE item_id=-8;