Update our Intro page - #1 article #3497

Rick-Anderson · 2017-06-15T15:48:55Z

Review URL
Given this is our #1 article we should put some effort into it. After we agree, let's run it by Dan.
Fixes #3496

tdykstra

Nice overhaul. A few suggestions.

tdykstra · 2017-06-15T15:55:38Z

aspnetcore/index.md

@@ -16,66 +16,47 @@ uid: index

 By [Daniel Roth](https://github.com/danroth27), [Rick Anderson](https://twitter.com/RickAndMSFT), and [Shaun Luttin](https://twitter.com/dicshaunary)

-ASP.NET Core is a significant redesign of ASP.NET. This topic introduces the new concepts in ASP.NET Core and explains how they help you develop modern web apps.  
+ASP.NET Core is a significant redesign of ASP.NET.


Consider:

Remove this sentence and start the doc with the following "what is it" text.

Put this sentence at the start of the "Why use" section immediately before the sentence about how long ago ASP.NET was introduced.

tdykstra · 2017-06-15T15:56:04Z

aspnetcore/index.md


 ## What is ASP.NET Core?

-ASP.NET Core is a new open-source and cross-platform framework for building modern cloud based internet connected applications, such as web apps, IoT apps and mobile backends. ASP.NET Core apps can run on [.NET Core](https://www.microsoft.com/net/core/platform) or on the full .NET Framework. It was architected to provide an optimized development framework for apps that are deployed to the cloud or run on-premises. It consists of modular components with minimal overhead, so you retain flexibility while constructing your solutions. You can develop and run your ASP.NET Core apps cross-platform on Windows, Mac and Linux. ASP.NET Core is open source at [GitHub](https://github.com/aspnet/home).
+ASP.NET Core is a new open-source and cross-platform framework for building modern cloud based internet connected applications, such as web apps, IoT apps and mobile backends. ASP.NET Core apps can run on [.NET Core](https://www.microsoft.com/net/core/platform) or on the full .NET Framework. It was architected to provide an optimized development framework for apps that are deployed to the cloud or run on-premises. It consists of modular components with minimal overhead, so you retain flexibility while constructing your solutions. You can develop and run your ASP.NET Core apps cross-platform on Windows, Mac and Linux. ASP.NET Core is open source at [GitHub](https://github.com/aspnet/home). An ASP.NET Core app can use the .NET Core or .NET Framework runtime. For more information, see [Choosing between .NET Core and .NET Framework](https://docs.microsoft.com/dotnet/articles/standard/choosing-core-framework-server).


The additional text you added at the end sounds like a separate paragraph to me.

Yes, I moved it from next steps. New paragraph good.

In this 1st sentence, hyphenate "cloud based" and "internet based". Also, capitalize the "i" on "internet".

Should we be referring to ".NET Framework" as the "full .NET Framework"? Personally, I'd remove the word "full", now that .NET Standard 2.0 is introducing more APIs to be implemented in .NET Core 2.0.

Yes, we're supposed to avoid "full" .NET Framework

tdykstra · 2017-06-15T15:56:39Z

aspnetcore/index.md


-The first preview release of ASP.NET came out almost 15 years ago as part of the .NET Framework.  Since then millions of developers have used it to build and run great web apps, and over the years we have added and evolved many capabilities to it.
+ASP.NET released over 15 years ago.  Millions of developers used it to create web apps. Each new release added features.


The rewrite sounds choppy with the procession of short sentences.

tdykstra · 2017-06-15T15:58:41Z

aspnetcore/index.md


-ASP.NET Core has a number of architectural changes that result in a much leaner and modular framework.  ASP.NET Core is no longer based on *System.Web.dll*. It is based on a set of granular and well factored [NuGet](http://www.nuget.org/) packages. This allows you to optimize your app to include just the NuGet packages you need. The benefits of a smaller app surface area include tighter security, reduced servicing, improved performance, and decreased costs in a pay-for-what-you-use model.
+ASP.NET Core has a number of architectural changes resulting in a leaner and modular framework.  ASP.NET Core is no longer based on *System.Web.dll*. It is based on a set of granular and well factored [NuGet](http://www.nuget.org/) packages. This allows you to optimize your app to include just the NuGet packages you need. The benefits of a smaller app surface area include tighter security, reduced servicing, improved performance, and <!-- How does it decrease costs? --> decreased costs in a <!-- How does pay for use work? --> *pay for what you use* model.


How does it decrease costs? How does pay for use work?

In Azure you can pay by CPU time or by VM size; if performance improvement let you use less CPU or smaller VMs, you save money.

tdykstra · 2017-06-15T15:59:35Z

aspnetcore/index.md

-* New tooling that simplifies modern web development
-
-* Build and run cross-platform ASP.NET apps on Windows, Mac and Linux
+ASP.NET Core provides the following foundational improvements:


foundational improvements --> improvements compared to ASP.NET

Looks like there are 2 spaces before the 2nd sentence. Remove 1 of them. Also recommend adding a comma after "architectural changes" and hyphenating "well factored".

tdykstra · 2017-06-15T16:00:01Z

aspnetcore/index.md

+* Built on [.NET Core](https://microsoft.com/net/core), which supports true side-by-side app versioning.
+* Ships entirely as [NuGet](https://nuget.org)  packages.
+* New tooling that simplifies modern web development.
+* Build and run cross-platform ASP.NET Core apps on Windows, Mac, and Linux.
 * Open source and community focused


hyphenate both

tdykstra · 2017-06-15T16:01:33Z

aspnetcore/index.md

 * Open source and community focused

 ## Build web APIs and web UI using ASP.NET Core MVC

-* You can build HTTP services that reach a broad range of clients, including browsers and mobile devices.  Support for [multiple data formats and content negotiation](mvc/models/formatting.md) is built-in. ASP.NET Core is an ideal platform for building web APIs and RESTful apps on .NET Core. See [Building web APIs](tutorials/index.md#building-web-apis).  
-
+* Build HTTP services that reach a broad range of clients, including browsers and mobile devices.  Support for [multiple data formats and content negotiation](mvc/models/formatting.md) is built-in. ASP.NET Core is an ideal platform for building web APIs and RESTful apps on .NET Core. See [Building web APIs](tutorials/index.md#building-web-apis).
 * You can create well-factored and testable web apps that follow the Model-View-Controller (MVC) pattern. See [MVC](mvc/index.md) and [Testing](testing/index.md).


Why remove "you can" above but not here?

remove it. MIssed that one.

tdykstra · 2017-06-15T16:04:10Z

aspnetcore/index.md


-If you’d like to connect with the ASP.NET Core development team’s progress and plans, tune in to the weekly [ASP.NET Community Standup](https://live.asp.net/).
+* [ASP.NET Core Tutorials](tutorials/index.md) to get started.


In this new context remove "to get started", "for in-depth...".

tdykstra · 2017-06-15T16:05:47Z

aspnetcore/index.md


-An ASP.NET Core app can use the .NET Core or .NET Framework runtime. For more information, see [Choosing between .NET Core and .NET Framework](https://docs.microsoft.com/dotnet/articles/standard/choosing-core-framework-server).
+## For more information


We never title this section "For more information" -- usually it's Next steps, though sometimes we use Additional resources. Here you could put "For more information, see the following resources" under a Next steps title.

tdykstra · 2017-06-15T16:08:54Z

aspnetcore/index.md

-If you’d like to connect with the ASP.NET Core development team’s progress and plans, tune in to the weekly [ASP.NET Community Standup](https://live.asp.net/).
+* [ASP.NET Core Tutorials](tutorials/index.md) to get started.
+* [ASP.NET Core Fundamentals](fundamentals/index.md) for in-depth information on concepts and architecture.
+* The weekly [ASP.NET Community Standup](https://live.asp.net/), which covers the team's progress and plans and features new blogs and third party software.


remove "which"

Hyphenate "third party".

scottaddie · 2017-06-15T18:34:52Z

aspnetcore/index.md

-If you’d like to connect with the ASP.NET Core development team’s progress and plans, tune in to the weekly [ASP.NET Community Standup](https://live.asp.net/).
+* [ASP.NET Core Tutorials](tutorials/index.md) to get started.
+* [ASP.NET Core Fundamentals](fundamentals/index.md) for in-depth information on concepts and architecture.
+* The weekly [ASP.NET Community Standup](https://live.asp.net/), which covers the team's progress and plans and features new blogs and third party software.


Hyphenate "third party".

Create index.md

422750c

Rick-Anderson requested review from tdykstra and scottaddie June 15, 2017 15:48

dnfclas added the cla-already-signed label Jun 15, 2017

Rick-Anderson mentioned this pull request Jun 15, 2017

The first preview release of ASP.NET came out almost 15 years ago as part of the .NET Framework. #3496

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Rick-Anderson mentioned this pull request Jun 16, 2017

Updated .NET age #3501

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Update index.md

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Rick-Anderson merged commit d50c49e into master Jun 17, 2017

Rick-Anderson deleted the Intro-update branch June 17, 2017 16:44

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Update our Intro page - #1 article #3497

Update our Intro page - #1 article #3497

Rick-Anderson commented Jun 15, 2017 •

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		The first preview release of ASP.NET came out almost 15 years ago as part of the .NET Framework. Since then millions of developers have used it to build and run great web apps, and over the years we have added and evolved many capabilities to it.
		ASP.NET released over 15 years ago. Millions of developers used it to create web apps. Each new release added features.


		ASP.NET Core has a number of architectural changes that result in a much leaner and modular framework. ASP.NET Core is no longer based on System.Web.dll. It is based on a set of granular and well factored [NuGet](http://www.nuget.org/) packages. This allows you to optimize your app to include just the NuGet packages you need. The benefits of a smaller app surface area include tighter security, reduced servicing, improved performance, and decreased costs in a pay-for-what-you-use model.
		ASP.NET Core has a number of architectural changes resulting in a leaner and modular framework. ASP.NET Core is no longer based on System.Web.dll. It is based on a set of granular and well factored [NuGet](http://www.nuget.org/) packages. This allows you to optimize your app to include just the NuGet packages you need. The benefits of a smaller app surface area include tighter security, reduced servicing, improved performance, and <!-- How does it decrease costs? --> decreased costs in a <!-- How does pay for use work? --> pay for what you use model.


		If you’d like to connect with the ASP.NET Core development team’s progress and plans, tune in to the weekly [ASP.NET Community Standup](https://live.asp.net/).
		* [ASP.NET Core Tutorials](tutorials/index.md) to get started.


		An ASP.NET Core app can use the .NET Core or .NET Framework runtime. For more information, see [Choosing between .NET Core and .NET Framework](https://docs.microsoft.com/dotnet/articles/standard/choosing-core-framework-server).
		## For more information

Update our Intro page - #1 article #3497

Update our Intro page - #1 article #3497

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Rick-Anderson commented Jun 15, 2017 •

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